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head buryed in the palms of shame
wishing it would end wishing like the past it would be the same
looking forthe light
wanting to surender the fight
its cant be the same
it wouldnt be lime light and fame
dark hallways without any light escape
disaster place . its my life its my fate
unhappyness and nothen but sorrow
living everyday .. hating tomorrow
dark skys trap the sun as my heart
:( like us apart
i will not be happy
no one will love me like you did
i hate myself deepely
sometimes i wish death.
godforbidCurrent Mood:  blank Current Music: what we will never know - innerpartysystem |
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Jan. 7th, 2008 @ 01:07 pm
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Nov. 11th, 2005 @ 02:47 pm
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she didnt deserve this .... R.I.P shantelle youll be missed
She was one of the strongest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. We cheered together for three years and when all was said and done, she never ever missed a practice, not even one. She showed up on her crutches and her leg brace to EVERY practice and EVERY game and even the competition at the end of the season. She did what she could and put amazing effort into every task that was put in front of her. There's very few people that any of us will ever know that will be able to be as strong as she was and deal with as much as she did. She put up an amazing fight, and through it all, she never once complained.
Shantelle, I promise you baby girl, you'll never be forgotten. You'll be sadly missed by many, but also proudly remembered for your strength, courage, bravery, your big heart, and the kindness and love that you showed to everyone you met and everyone you knew.
For everyone who reads this, please don't ever take for granted the people who are important to you. You never know when their time will be cut short and when the people you love will be taken away from you.
For those who knew her, and even those who didn't, please pray for Shantelle and her family, and send your hearts out to them.
Please show some respect to Shantelle and repost this, so that everyone on your friends list can read it and know what an amazing person she was.
R.I.P. 11-9-05"
Shantelle you are truly loved by all <3
By:ZandiCurrent Mood:  sad |
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Oct. 30th, 2005 @ 09:33 am
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Janice Ian
i knew it i knew thas who i would be |
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I want the pain of payment
What's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid
To fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter
I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart
Love is not like anything
Especially a fucking knifeCurrent Mood:  angry |
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yea havnt upsatied in a whole thats becasue ive been stuck on my space lol , but yea myspace isnt working right now so im writting in her but yea lately its been alot of shit from alot of diffrent people like saturday i was invited to a party and then uninvited the night of the party , they claimed there wasnt supose to be any guys there and then my girlfreind accidently called me duringit ( she promised me she was gonna spend that day with me also ) and then i found out there was guys at the party you have nop idea how bad i felt it was like , im not good enough but yea now they are giving a bunch of diffrent storys of why she did thta but yea im not listening to any of them cause if was fucking rotten , and peple are mad t me abotu it m but hey what would you people dop , any feedback please ? but yea , i found out that pople really dont want me at El and i dont think people want me at LHS either just casue there are alot of bitches that are jealous that alyssa sopends alot of her tme with me , but i have two words to say to them mmm FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!11 you guys are always caught up with your boyfreinds to relize it and when you either dont have one or they foinally get sick of you , you are mad at me because my gf p\spends mroe tme with me but yea , jsut please back the fuck off lol i have alot on my mind and since im not aloud to say what i want out loud imwrtting it in here , but yea i saw the exosicm of emily rose the other night but besides the stupid teenagers behind us talking on there phones andf getting up and down the movie was awesome but i need to see it again cause of them , but yea i deside i am in love with emily browning (girl from ghost shoip , and limity snickets or what ever ) shes so hot lol , but yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 
drools , but anyways back to the subject lol , i need to see cry wolf , and that othere dman movie that i cant remmeber the name of , i think it was venom , yea thats it lol , but yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lol i dont knwo what else to write about beisdes i now goto LHS and i finally what i am meant to be , A DEVIL lol
leave comments abotu my siturTON IN THE FIRST PART PLEASE
Sep. 12th, 2005 @ 06:12 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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 | You scored as Xander Harris. You're quite the character. Though you tend to over react you're never one to back down when something needs to be done. You are however quite the slacker, but you're loving, caring heart more than makes up for it.
Xander Harris | | 83% | Anya | | 79% | Spike | | 71% | Buffy Summers | | 67% | Dawn Summers | | 63% | Rupert Giles | | 50% | Tara Maclay | | 46% | Willow Rosenberg | | 46% | </td>
Which Buffy The Vampire Slayer Character Are You Most Like!?
created with QuizFarm.com |
Aug. 22nd, 2005 @ 10:17 am
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| » Umm 2 hours of sleep |
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ok lets see went into my suisters fairly early hung out with manny , went to play tennis , ummm dont ffeel like typing cause im pissed off but yea ill add more later when i wake back up
Aug. 12th, 2005 @ 05:25 am
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| » does someone remember this ??? |
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I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
‘cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel light when you’re gone away
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
‘cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away
‘cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel light when you’re gone away
alrigt funny story this song has been on my computer since i rebooted it its been one of my favrate songs for a while now , and it hasnt played once and the day i saw someone at the mall its played about 6 or 7 times but yea anwyays no more to say i guess
Jul. 31st, 2005 @ 11:15 am
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| » Exspanding again |
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well ive been talking to some of my old freinds from auburn which i havnt done in a while and i find my self getting along wiht them so well lol someone i talked to last night for like 2 and half hours and didnt even notice it lol but yea lol , and anothr one of my freinds and i are gonna hang out soon i guess but yea , i kidnda miss them but im not gonna miss El at all but yea , i defontly need to get a job or im fucked and cant drvie to LV everyday which i plan on but yea , any one know about any openings tlel me lol , but yea someone wants one of my black kittens , sadness but o well lol im keeeping mty runt lol but yea i dont know what else to say , ebveryone is like either gonna be near portland or be at fun town today how flippin fun
Jul. 30th, 2005 @ 11:13 am
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yea after yesterday alot is going through my head and i dont like it lol , lets just say somehting to do with the mall but yea who ever was there should know what i mean but if not just ask me but yea its 511 am in the mourning and i cant even begin to go asleep again so yea IM UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
Jul. 29th, 2005 @ 05:11 am
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alllllright today sucked up t oummm the movies i guess well actally somehting else too but yea ill start form the beggigng um ywea woke up obviously right and had yet another dream , but yea ummm i forgot what i did first but yea sme how i ended u p at wal mart then back home and then faught wiht alyssa like alllllllll day lol , and then kyla like totally made me happy by asking me if i would mange the filed hockey team with her this year sibnce im going to LHS next year but yea , i was so happy to be asked i had to say yes but yea , and then yea faught some more with alyssa and then it looked up again and lauren asked me togoto the movies yea so i said yes and thennnnn ifoubnd out alyssa was going and i called lauren and 9 was liek omg do you know who ammanda in vited and then shes like yea ronn yand im liek WHAT caus ei didnt know but yea so i was pissed abotu that but ea the war between me and him is over but yea anyways still mad at a couple things but its maily settled all out but yea anyways after we came out yay lol but yea anyyways lol then amanda and alyssa left and then kyla gave me her last piece of gum that mad me feel really honored i dnt knwo why yes i do m, im a loooser thats why but yea then she showed me pictures form her cruise lol and then i think tonight was the most becky has talked to me in perosn before lol but yea , well kevin was just talkign to me and i dont knwo why im always the last to find things out lol
but yea
BECK Y AND I ARE PLANNING A SOCCER GHAME NEXT WENSDAY LEAVE ACCOMMENT IF YO UWANT TO JOIN IT
Jul. 27th, 2005 @ 10:29 pm
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i think im gonna jsut stop writting in this cause noone ever fucking writes in theres anymore and f they do its the same old stuff but yyea and no one comments on my stuff so yea if any0one wants me to keep this then leave somemessages
Jul. 24th, 2005 @ 10:42 am
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| » well yea what a fuun day / night lol |
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alright i woke up around i dnt knwo know what time it was but yea manny called before i even woke up lol so it wasn early lol ,but yea woke up and manny came over , we played games and shit , but yea manny went home , and yea skip to the night well i wwent to a show tonight , valari , jim , kaitlin , tianna , jasmine , michelle amanda , matt , andrew ,zack and someone else was there that i really didnt wanna see , but yea blame it on dan was awesome once again lol but yea , and some guy on a keyboard was hilairious well yea after the show , daigle and i decided to puit a band together lol , i hope it turns out well, yea well im gonna hit a subject that has been getting on my nerves jsut because some people are making such a big ass deal abotu it and i have to address it ,
alright its simply like this , Very Attractive girls bitching about guys sucking and how they cant get a boyfreind seriously , its simply this , dont set your fucking standars so damn high and relize that every guy isnt fucking aweosme becaus eof theyre looks , i mean the hottest guy in the world can be the biggest asshole the same as girls , but yea im just sick of listening to it , well reading it ,
and i noticed saying things will get better doesnt work at all , it just makes them be like , o im getting pity out oif this lets do it more ugh im sorry if anyone gets mad at this but fuck it im sick of it , and so isnt other people just no body will fuckking say it so yea lighten the fuck up
Jul. 23rd, 2005 @ 02:37 am
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ok well yea woke up , ummm i guess we desided to goto wal mart and look around , omg there was this so cute girl there ,she was wearing pigtails and tripp pants and a black "The USed" shirt omg she was so cute lol , anyways yea and her hair was bplack which put everyhting togethr lol anyyyyyyyyyways m then i went to the mall and my sister and i were walking around and we found kkyla and becky , but yea we talked for alittle bit and my sister loves kyla lol ,but yea then i stayed there wehn my sister and grandmother left , and lauren and sara showed up and then erika and amanda , we hung otu for a bit and after amanda threw her drink at lauren we went to jc penny and amamnda and i picke dout the clothes for our kid asnd hes wearing plaid shorts and flannel lol and chucks but anyyyyways i left and went to get money from my sisters dad to goto the movies and i did and yea meg was there but in another theater i went to see charlie and the chocklate factory again awww i love that movie but yea now im hear sitting here but eyea anyways comment please lol
Jul. 19th, 2005 @ 09:42 pm
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well ok woke up and went swiimming in sabattus where i got totally tired out cause my sisters freind and i swam to a bat that was tired out in the middle somewhere lol yea very tired from that . went home took a shower , and went to mackenzzies then we walked to ledgends and it was really fun all the bands were good for the first band i hung out with mackenzie and jamie jones but yea then after that mackenzzie was like go talk to valari so i did and jim and kristy was with her , so i hung out wiht them for the rest of the night , and tianna and alex(i think its alex ) hung out too blame it on dan is awesome i need to see them more but yea i tryed calling hali but she didnt pick up , hali is my ex gf from minot but yea then i called lauren and talked to her or a biut and we actually talked about alot lol , but yea now im home and being bored lol i wish i lived in town so i could hang otu with my homies lol
Jul. 18th, 2005 @ 10:38 pm
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| » off livejournal answers |
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theese are the answer i got off live journal from freinds
kyrstein or how ever you spell it - 3 4 5 9 10 11 19
Josephina - 3 and 4
Amanda - 1,2,3,4,6,7,8(lol),12,13(lol),17,18,21
ALyssa - 1,3,7,8(pleasantly plump!),9(sometimes),11,12,16(friendship for now),17(later),20(LMFAO), 21
Jul. 14th, 2005 @ 03:35 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Reply with a number! Reply to this bulletin by sending me a message of the number that best describes your feelings towards me. You can put however many numbers you need to.
1= I like you
2= I love you
3= You're funny
4= You're cool
5= I don't really care for your personality
6= I wanna be on you!
7= You're sexy
8= You have a nice body
9= I hate you
10= You're boring
11= You're gay and your just a waste of air
12= You have an awesome personality
13= I want to kiss every part of your body
14= I wanna do you 'til you scream my name
15= I want to go out with you
16= I'm looking for a relationship with you
17= Call me
18= You're cute
19= I dont know you
20= Man, can I just fuck you?
21= I want you in my life
Afterwards, repost it and see what number people will give you
Jul. 14th, 2005 @ 03:33 pm
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Her Eyes Like Crystals
COvered With Tears
Her Heart Filled With Hurt
Goes On For Years
My Love Its FOr Her
But Hers
The Distance Its SO Far
Her Vampire Fangs
Seep Into My Neck
With Ever Drip Of Blood
Im Hers
My Days I Sleep
The Nights I Search
My Prey , My Children
Some I Let Die
Some Are By My Side
I May Be The Leader
But Im Weak In SIde
Cause The One I Want
Isnt By My Side
Jul. 14th, 2005 @ 01:08 pm
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ok make this short well , portland at 3 , concert line at 5 , concert awesomeeeeeee , fell in love with 3 doors down all over again , , going home , burger king 45 minutes there ,. chelsea and amber were there at BK too , alyssa;s hosue , home , here , im not in the mood to type add more later
Jul. 13th, 2005 @ 01:28 am
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atreyu620uyetra's journal